What kind(s) of death have you experienced God destroy in your own life, and in the lives of those you personally know well? (question asked by Elise Hurd on Day 20 of her legacy posts…Death into Life) . Death is suppose to be a hurtful sad thing, but for me it was freedom.

wallaThe death of me, was the best and worst death I have ever experienced. I remember in the beginning of me coming back to Jesus, I heard the Holy Spirit say this year you will cry more then you have ever cried. I thought for real? You know I’m not a cryer! ooooook. Boy was He right. My tears were the destruction of my hurts, my wounds, and my walls that I had built around my heart. Walls that kept people away but also kept HIM away. Death to myself, my ways, my pride, my rights, and my dignity all came during that year. Was it instantaneous? No, it was one day, one tear, and one brick of prevention at a time. Death of the things that prevented me from receiving His love, receiving His healing, receiving His grace. Without receiving those things you can’t give them.

You see this wall not only kept those things OUT but also kept MY disfunction and wounds IN. I needed freedom, I needed healing, I needed this death, I needed HIM! As I allowed Him to work in me, the walls seemed no longer necessary. death to selfFor His protection was all I needed. As I exchanged my own desire and agenda’s for HIS the tears flowed and Love was learned. When I chose to humble myself (notice I said I CHOSE) to Him and to others, He brought in alive new things that were good and helpful to me and to others. The death of MY life and MY past was in that year exchanged for a new LIFE, New Future, and New path.

So today, I celebrate the my death! For it was the best thing that ever happened to me!