Being a makeup artist in the beauty industry I hear and see how much attention is given to outer physical beauty. Being in ministry, I hear a lot about the same but from a completely different side and perspective. So, I’m here as a beauty expert to give my weigh-in on both sides and hopefully bridge the gap a bit.
In our society pretty is praised. Probably a little too much if we are all honest. The thing about being pretty is you have no control over that. It is a physical attribute that you were given or not. Yes, I know, we can enhance it, bring it out, or even surgically create a little more of it, but for the most part you either are born with it or your not. When did we allow our society define us? We’ll, it’s not a new thing. Let’s just be real, not everyone can be pretty, the Bible even notes those that were physically attractive and those that weren’t. I dare to state: pretty is a passive state. It doesn’t last. Not only is it passive, it’s a perspective. What is praised as physically attractive in one culture may not in another.
One of the big things I see a lot of is an attack on the attractive. Don’t get me wrong, I know society and the media over praises pretty but I also see other sectors shaming it and wanting to make those that happen to be pretty feel less than. Then if you happen to be attractive and wear makeup, jewelry, or have a sense of fashion that enhances it; it’s automatically assumed you are vain or puffed up. Why do we take such a harsh emotional response to a temporary physical state that is perspective driven and only variable by a small degree?
Just like you can’t praise a person just because they are pretty, you also can’t persecute them. I have heard people flippantly say and even post on social media, “It’s a good thing you’re pretty.” Alluding to the fact that being pretty is that person’s greatest attribute and all else is lacking in comparison. The fact that a person has physical beauty doesn’t mean they are less intelligent, insightful, or humble. I see so many times people wanting pretty to be played down instead of being glorified for the Creator who made them that way.
So, my final thoughts. Do not allow society to define you if you don’t happen to be “pretty” by their perspective; it fades eventually anyway. Do not allow people to persecute you or shame you because you are, enhance it and own it.
Enhance who you are, pretty or not, but don’t cover it up because you are beautifully and wonderfully made.
Pretty is something you see and is temporal but beauty is cultivated in your character and is eternal.
Lastly, become BEAUTIFUL.
Have you ever caught yourself looking at a person and and thinking ” ugh! Their life is perfect!” What do they have to complain about? Or sometimes say, I wish my life was as easy as theirs! I wish I had a husband like she has, or my kids behaved like that!! I wish I was as blessed as she is and have the freedom to do what she does! We could go on and on about all the things we perceive is better then what we have. Don’t act like you haven’t done it!
I have done it…we have all done it. However regardless of our judgements in what we see, there also lies path-roads of life lessons and pains you don’t see. There is a price everyone pays to get to where they are, good and bad.
I have had many look at my life and say she’s has had it eassssyyy. They see me now as a successful makeup artist living my dream career, married to a wonderful godly man, raising 3 amazing sucessfullll adolescent adults, and enjoying every day that is given to me! Yes, I have a beautiful life! I truly do, but it didn’t come at no cost. There were things in my life that happened that I had to work through. Lesson I had to learn, paths I had to walk down. Some I chose, and some were chosen for me, but in ALL of them I CHOSE to do the work.
I have heard this phrase more times then I care to, and frankly I’m tired of it. To me it’s a cop out for not wanting to work towards healing and the life you can have. “But you don’t know where I have come from or what I have been through”. I understand that sometimes we don’t know what to do or how to heal from life wounds, neither did I, but good news there’s instructions! God charges those of us that have been through it, to share so others can benefit from it. To follow His word on how to face our INNER impefections, dig in and allow God to make them beautiful. THAT is what this site is dedicated to. “But you don’t know where I have come from or what I have been through”. Well my dear, YOU don’t know what I have come from and what I have been through!”
Don’t tell me you can’t become healed and be made whole from sexual abuse…because I have.
Don’t tell me you can’t recover and be restored from rape…because I have.
Don’t tell me He can’t hide you from the shadow of death…because HE HAS in me!
Don’t TELL ME you can’t find a good man…because I did!
Don’t tell me you can’t overcome addiction….because I did.
DONT TELL ME! your marriage can’t be saved from infidelity…because mine was!
DON”T TELL ME an adulterer can’t be forgiven or trusted… because I am!
I could go on, and on…but I will stop there and cool my jets!
Don’t tell me what GOD can’t do with YOUR life if you let Him because HE IS WILLING AND WANTING TO! The question is are YOU? Are you willing to look at you? INside at your imperfect heart, actions, and mind and do the work for it to become a beautiful testimony?
My journey will not look like yours because you are uniquely and as wonderfully made as I am. We don’t have to experience the same things to learn the same lessons. My life was not perfect…no matter what it “appeared” to be..far from it! My own choices, as well as ones others made for me, created a broken hot mess of a life! My life today, IS STILL NOT perfect…but it is BEAUTIFUL! It is beautiful because HE is beautiful. As long as I continue to allow Him to work the truth of His word in me and through me, then it will continue to become a beautiful testimony. Start your journey today towards your beautiful INperfect life!
So, if there is pain…let me show you who heals and restores. If there is weakness…let me share my strength source with you. If your get overwhelmed and discouraged…there are words of hope here. Whatever I have, whatever I know, whatever I have learned, I will share, so you to can have a BEAUTIFUL life too!
5. You support
I bet you didn’t see that one was coming huh? A good friend is like a good bra…they always support you! lol Yeah I know it’s cheesy but it’s true…although sometimes good bras, pinch and poke and cause spillage..soo never mind!
Supporting means to hold up, give assistance to, or enable. I love that you and I do those things even when we aren’t intentionally doing them! We hold “down” the fort, when really we are holding it up and together. We assist husbands with tasks, children in LIFE, and friends in any way we can.
We also are made to enable others to succeed. I always seem to find myself always wanting and “helping” my kids try to make better life choices then I did. I had a great mother who instilled great wisdom and values in me, but only gave me what she knew. Now as a mom, I realize what she did give me was awesome; however, there was a LOT she didn’t’ impart in me because she didn’t know how. And well, what you don’t know, you don’t know! And you can’t teach what you don’t know. I am realizing that I want to enable my children with more then what I had. Even though what I was taught was good, don’t we always want better for our kids? Therefore, I am going to help enable and support them in making good decision and life choice. Now mind you my children are now adolescent adults(15,19,21) but that starts when they a younger.
So I LOVE that our supporting roles are truly the ladies’ leading role! So SHINE in your leading role as a supporter! And this is another thing that I LOVE about you!
6. You Nurture
Nuturing….nurturing…I’ll be honest I’m not even sure if I knew what that was when I had kids! Everyone nurtures (cares for and encourages growth and development…in case you needed the definition like I did to make sure I knew what I thought I might know) whether you realize it or not! And we all do it differently. Some mothers hug and cuddle, some hold them in their arms and carry them , and <strong>others eat their young!</strong> kidding! Well kinda!
We all have the ability to nurture, we were made that way. However, <strong>HOW </strong>we nurture determines HOW our young ones grow into adults. Some moms over nurture and as a result they have dependent, adult babies who can’t function healthily on their own. On the other end some people “nurture” by, well, eating their young! Being so selfish they only do for themselves not taking into account how what they do or say or how will affect their offspring.
So now if your like me, your accessing your parenting skills and reviewing all the good and bad things you’ve done or not done! Did I give to much? Did I not give enough? Did I hug to much and not discipline enough? Was to harsh? None of us are perfect, we will make mistakes. Accept it now it’s gonna happen and it’s OK!!! The key is to know when that happens and correct it. We have a great guideline for parenting. The WORD! Now I have heard a 1000x’s over…spare the rod and spoil the child verse for parenting, or train up a child in the way he should go and he will not flee from it…but what is THAT way?! <strong>I propose a new and solid…detailed verse (ok maybe mini chapter!) for bringing up the young and moldable into adulthood!</strong><em></em>
<strong> 1 Corinthians 13</strong>You say you love them, now prove it! Don’t just talk the talk…walk the walk!
Now that we the answer on HOW to do it, let’s nurture! Remember, you carry weight, have influence, love, and now know how to nurture in a way that will feed and grow healthy loving adults!
<strong>I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, that you nurture and cause growth and development in others!</strong>
7. You Love
Women have the ornate ability to love like no other! We will go to great lengths to show our love also! To the point we get a little CRAY! CRAY! Sometimes! Just saying! Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. Let someone say something bad about your child or hurt them and see if that protective momma love doesn’t show up and show off!
We can also love deeply and tolerate a huge amount of…um…STUFF…. See, I thought that through and edited, you read between the dots!
I remember my “first love” and how deeply I loved him. How I gave him my heart, mind (my thoughts were always about him, for him) and body. There was nothing I would not have done for him. Regardless of the imbalance, heartbreak, hurt, or dysfunction…I still loved him and wanted to be with him always. The hurt and wounds from that relationship were life changing and devastating for me, as I am sure it has been for most women. Healing from that relationship was one of the longest and hardest things I’ve ever done, and many paid the price for it including my husband.
So, we HAVE the ability to love deeply and intensely, regardless of our circumstances or surroundings. The question is are we pointing that love in the right direction? I have learned through my love battles that the greatest and safest person to love that deeply and intensely is not a person at all, it’s my God. If I will make HIM my FIRST love and love him with all my heart, mind, and body I will never have to deal with he pain and heartbreak I did with my physical first love.
He will never let me down, abuse me, or lead me into danger. He will walk along side me no matter where I go, holding my hand to lead me(if I let Him) and simply just love me. All women really want is to feel is accepted and loved, and He is the only one you will ever truly feel that with and through.
SO, I LOVE that we can love to intensely and fervently! Let’s just make our CRAY CRAY and FIRST LOVE HIM!
By the way…
8.You produce…give birth to things
We all know that we were made to “help” reproduce. But let’s get real WE carry it, WE feed it, WE grow it, It takes a toll on OUR body, then WE birth it! I’m not sure if we are helping reproduce or if the man is helping considering the work delegation on that!Yet we wouldn’t have it any other way! Because after ALL that we get to hold it, nurture it, love it, and help mold it into what we want it to be. Noticed I used the word “it’? Of course in all this you assume I am only talking about babies but ‘IT” means so much more!! You see we (women) also give birth to and reproduce attitudes, behaviors, relationships, and so much more. After you have that sweet little baby and all the “fun” begins YOU are reproducing in him/her what attitude you want them to have. How do you want them to speak to others, treat others, and think of others? So, I hear you, I hear youWait! it’s not just me it’s the husband to! He yells, and is angry. He talks down to me and to them, He thinks everyone is competing with him to be the boss!” Yes, Your man does also reproduce things in your children BUT LUCKILY you have influence over him!! 😉 So, use it! If your children, teens, or adolescent adults are acting the way you do not want them to, you may want to take a look at yourself to see what you have produced in them.
If you are angry at your parents or others…then they will be angry with you and others.
If you are bitter at a spouse that has wronged you…then they will be bitter at their mate(whether they deserve it or not). If you hold a grudge and are easily offended by people…guess what you children will be.
Intentional words of love produce intentional actions of love and continue to reproduce. Isn’t that what we really want? is to reproduce good things in our lives? In our children? and grandchildren? So, I LOVE that you and I not only get the honor of birthing our babies into this world, but that we also have the ability to produce the good things WE choose to impart into them. With that we also have the power remove the things we don’t want them to reproduce. Don’t you love that?