Upon this journey I had to ask myself, what is the most important…number 1 lesson I would leave, if I had nothing else to leave? LOVE. You see love is a very misconstrued and misidentified word. I myself was ignorant for YEARS of it’s true meaning and source of love. This post is solely to reveal, what “LOVE” I am referring to and why it is so important for people to understand.
There was a time in my life that I rarely said, “I love you.” to people. It was the “L” word rarely spoken as if it were a curse word. Not to those I felt I truly did love, but to the general population of people. You see I felt that the word love was used so flippantly and I was not an ewey gooey, lovey dovey personality type that I just “loved” everyone, so I was intention when I used it. As a matter of fact, I could probably say that if I told you I loved you, you had earned that special place with me. I know it sounds awful, but it was the truth.
For me, love was the proof that you wouldn’t hurt me. It was knowing that you cared about me enough to think of me, put me first, and sound time with me. That was how I defined love in my mid thirties. Notice I am using the word love for trust? See I didn’t trust them, but I was confused on what love was because I didn’t know what true unfailing love looked like or was. So, I made my own broken, life experience based definition.
Before then, “love” was expressed to me in a physical sense….aka sex. I fell into the main stream lie when I was younger that love=sex. For many this reasoning seems and at times feels true. I know now how and why that is so easy to believe for women. There is a true metebolical reason that can help validate that mindset in women, but that’s an entire teaching on WHY you don’t have sex before marriage and we won’t go there right now.
I thought that all the men I slept with, I loved on some level and that on some level they loved me. When the realization of how untrue that was came to light. I then guarded up, and you had to then earn my love.
I don’t know if you see yourself in ANY of this and how you define love, but let me share what I learned about REAL LOVE. True love was demonstrated by God towards us. That is where I learned what LOVE truly is. God did not NEED us, He wanted us. He did not merely speak us into existence, He molded us with His hands(He touched us). He then put His lips to us and breathed life into us. I want you to think about that for a minute. God…the all knowing all powerful one…took the time to come down from His thrown…get dirty(we were made from dirt and dirt is not clean) and then kissed it. Would you kiss something or put your lips to something made from dirt? He loved and wanted us so much, He wanted to put a part of Himself in us! We were formed in His image BUT HIS breathe remains in us, it is what keeps us ALIVE! He gave us a part of Him to have daily! Knowing that we could and some would reject Him and not reciprocate the love. That we didn’t have to respond to Him in the same kind of love. We could choose to be with Him or not. He chose still to do this!
He also, chose to send His son…to die for you and me. That truly Hit me, when I had a son. I remember when it did. I loved this young baby so much that I couldn’t even contain it or express it in enough word that were adequate enough! Then I thought, what if one person in prison could live, if I sacrificed and allowed someone to torture and kill my son? KNOWING the pain that would happen to him? What if it was the entire prison? I mean grown people, that chose to do the wrongs and deserved to pay for them? Yet, I could set them all free by giving up my innocent blood and gift of a son. MMMM, good thing Im not God, you all would be in trouble! Just saying! But that is HIS LEVEL of love!
I finally understood that I was 100% INCAPABLE of loving people like God does, I then realized I needed HIM to love like that through me. Because I knew, I could never do that on my own, nor honestly at that time, I didn’t I even want to! I couldn’t love people because I didn’t really know what it was like to be loved or to love God. After these major Love revelations all I did want to do, was LOVE HIM back the best way I knew how. How much do you love God? Really? Do you love Him enough to read His word and work it in your life..to please HIM? Are you even worried about pleasing Him? You see, when I realized how much I was loved by my God, I then wanted to love Him so much back! The best way I have found to show Him my love is worship and obedience. I do all that I do to please Him, because if He is not pleased then it is pointless to me.