It’s 12:29 am, I have been up for the last 30 min. Why? Who knows. Maybe to process all that is happening in my life, or maybe just to write this. Since starting this journey towards legacy my life seems to be fighting against me in every area. My love actions towards people stretched more then I thought they could be. Demands on my time, my patience, my finances, my relationships. I laid in bed tonight thinking, I QUIT! I don’t even know why I am doing this? What is the point? It’s too hard! and will it really make a difference anyway? Forget it!
I am sure you have thought this many times! I quit as a parent, the kids are driving me CRAZY! I quit this marriage, it isn’t fulfilling my needs! I quit this job, the stress from it is not worth it! I quit this church, the people here are crazy! I quit ALL OF THIS! So WHY am I not actually quitting? Because I believe that God has a plan, and that I am a part of it, just as you are. I believe the life lessons I have learned need to be shared. I believe that no matter how hard it is to walk love out, it is worth it. Lastly, because He has not quit on me. Jesus never quit before He went to the cross. God never quit pursuing me when I walked away from Him. The holy spirt never quit leading me, even when I wasn’t listening.
Why do you keep going? What drives keeps you living, doing, loving? Why do you treat the people you love like you do? I didn’t know why I did the things I did before I found my relationship with God. I simply just free for alled through life. I had never really given thoughts to my actions or reasoning behind them. When it didn’t work I simply either gave up or if that wasn’t an option, shut down. So I ask what motivates you to do what you do? What grounds you? what fills you when your tank is empty and there is nothing left from you to draw from? These are fundamentals that everyone needs to know. When you can no longer do what your doing, where do you turn for help? for restoration? energy? inspiration to go on?
NOw, for me I only do what I do, for His glory. If it doesn’t please my God then there is no point. Now, I am sure I do a lot of things that aren’t pleasing, because I am human and mess up. When I am at the point I am tonight, and I have loved all the ways I know how to love, extended myself to serve in every capacity He has me in at this moment in life, and I become overwhelmed and am ready to throw in the towel; I ask ask myself again WHY am I doing this? One simple answer, because He is worth giving my life for. By giving my life I mean laying it down to serve others in such a way that will be pleasing to Him and show how great He is. No one else has to be pleased, nothing else matters. He laid His life down for me so that I could have life. I will lay mine down for Him so others can have life…Him. He is life.
So when my love is tested, He withstands the fire. When my patiences is stretched, He sustains me. When my body is exhausted and I have nothing left to give, He fills me. To extend ALL that HE is to others. I do not depend upon my own abilities to do these things, because I am lacking SEVERELY! But He isn’t, and always gives me what I need to keep going.