I remember as a child always having someone around. I HATED being alone. As a young adult, I was the same. To sit in my room alone in my own solitude was almost unbearable for me. After having children I remember thinking…awesome! I never have to be alone again. I will always have someone to occupy my time. What an awful pressure to have to put on children! The role of having to try and fulfill you. So selfish, yet so common. I have since now learned that if you can’t be alone with yourself you may have some deep soul searching to do.
Loneliness is not the same as being alone. I had a deep rooted since of loneliness that only activities and busyness could mask. When I had down time I would start to spiral into depression and self loathing. I did not know me, and when I did take a good hard evaluation of who I was…I didn’t like me. I began to actively take some alone time with myself and God to force a change. You see when your actively seeking Him your never alone and change must take place. Even when your not seeking Him, He is still there, you just are recognizing His presence.
One of the most important life lessons that I have learned is that it is important to be ok with being alone with yourself and actually liking the person you are. Allowing God during those times of solitude to work on you and in you. I know for some this is not profound or major, but for others like me it seems scary and hard to do. We like to stay busy filling our time, accomplishing things, and feeling effective in life. However, we also need to take the time to fill ourselves with time to work on our character, accomplish personal goals, and invest time in ourselves to make us a person we like, the person we want to be. Being alone should be a time of personal reflection, self evaluation, and growth to become a better you. To enjoy spending time with yourself ensures others with enjoy spending time with you.