There is nothing like a full scale physical, mental, and spiritual breakdown to bring you a new perspective. Since my post “When Church Covenant’s don’t cut it” so much has changed. My slow recovery was hit with a spiritual Mac truck dose of God antibiotic called love.
A friend and I went to a women’s conference held close to our home where Luke Holter was speaking. Luke is a prophet that frequents our church, so we love and support his ministry anytime we can. I went hoping to receive but was not sure what or if I would. My expectations were there, yet I didn’t know what to expect. I should have known it was a God set up when I went online to get a “ticket” and the conference was listed as sold out, yet my friend “just happened” to receive a phone call from them that morning about it and was told I already had a spot! Yeah, who actually phone calls anymore? lol
I can honestly say I walked into that place one way and walked out another. A better description would probably be I was rolled in on a stretcher and walked out a new creature. Not only did my whole heart change, my thought process, my demeanor, and my walk, and my worship.
After this collision with Jesus, I had clean up to do. You see I had allowed the enemy for FAR TO LONG to lie to me. I knew they were lies! KNEW IT! Yet, I allowed those lies to hinder the fullness of my walk and obedience. So, let me tell you what some of those lies sounded like. I would hear the Holy Spirit wanting to say or release something in our church, yet I wouldn’t take it to pastor or leadership because I wasn’t sure if they would receive it or feel it was from a “valid source”.. I knew this was not true! The source is the Holy Spirit not me. I knew that the word wasn’t mine and that it was meant to strengthen the body. I KNEW that if they didn’t receive it, I was not held accountable for it. I knew the lies, yet my heart gave into self doubt and questioned even the slightest validity of the lies, so I held back. After repenting…I said NO MAS! (that means no more in Spanish… it’s the only Spanish I know lol). My voice would no longer be silenced by the enemy again…period! I went to every leader that I knew the enemy had used in my mind as a tool for the lies and apologized. I exposed to them the lies that the enemy had been using and ask for their forgiveness. Once you expose the enemy’s lies he can NO LONGER use them against you. The public declaration made them invalid and allowed TRUTH to reign. There was NO WAY I was giving the enemy access to any portion of my mind or heart again.
So when you see me… you will see a new and powerful me. If you go to church with me, you will see me worship like a mad woman. Why? Because I have literally… again… been resurrected and brought back to life! How can you NOT worship with an overflowing heart of thankfulness for that? Your worship should not look like it did before. You have to understand what I have battled, lost, and been rescued from to understand my grateful heart. This wasn’t my just my “salvation” I was worshipping from. I was already “saved”, this was my resurrection! Proving that He will save me again and again and again! He will alway have me, always hold me, and alway WANT me. My radical, insane worship comes from a place of nothingness to a place of fullness.
If I am honest, I didn’t expect Him to save me when I jumped off the cliff; yet He did. I definitely didn’t expect an encounter of instant wholeness… I thought is would be a very slow recovery; yet He performed a miracle. He went ABOVE and BEYOND and did the miraculous for one simple reason….because HE WANTED TO! Because He loves me. So my worship is the only way I know to show Him how thankful I am for the unmerited, unexpected, and extravagant love He has shown me. Step into THAT and tell me how you worship!
I challenge you today, take an account of what the Lord has done for you and in you. DAILY let that stir… and see if your worship doesn’t look a little different then it did.