When you heart aches like never before, when in that one moment, it drops into your stomach and begins to be destroyed by all that encompasses you. You don’t know what to say, but want to scream at the world. You don’t know how to feel, yet you feel every emotion imaginable. Shock sets in, and life becomes surreal.
We have ALL had those moments, whether it be the discovery of infidelity and betrayal by the one we love or the moment you realize young innocence has been altered. Whether it happens to you or to the ones you love, the pain is real, the hurt is real, and the ANGER is OH SO REAL! In these moments you want nothing more then justice. You want to lash out and inflict the pain you have inside on to someone…anyone! You want to make right what was made wrong. You want to pretend it never happened. I understand this, oh so well.
There have been many circumstances that have set me in this place before. I am not going to try and say I was “Oh so Holy” and handled it correctly. I merely was only able to handle it, barely. I did learn however, that when these things happen, you need a place to fall. I use to have my husband, until he was the one inflicting the pain. I had my mom, until she was the inflicting the pain. Now I have MY GOD, because HE NEVER inflicts the pain! He is that place, that PERSON I can go, yell, cry, scream, and curse at. (Yes I said curse, I don’t do it often but in those times sometimes I just don’t have the “right” words and let’e be real, Im REALLY hurt and REALLY pissed and I really need Him to hear me in all my broken flawed humanity!) and it’s ok! He doesn’t judge, He merely comforts. He doesn’t laugh, He solely loves. He doesn’t leave, He is always there.
After you have done all you can do, prepared all you can prepare, and you still fall short, It’s ok. That is why we need God’d grace. He IS your place of comfort!
He understands your betrayal, He was betrayed. He understand your pain, he was wounded. He understands your need to forgive, because He forgave.
If you feel desperate, angry, frustrated, and hurt….and probably rightly so, remember He is there. Take it to Him.