Have you ever had those days that you found yourself on the rollercoaster ride of great heights and deep lows…experiencing every emotion you think you have all within.. oh let’s say 48 hours? 24 hrs? 12hrs? During times like these I feel like I have suffered from emotional and spiritual whiplash. OH boy, today I’m definitely feeling the soreness from it! This weekend brought on trying challenges to say the least and boy did I screw up ROYALLY! Several times in fact! ugh! why can’t life just be easy? Because easy changes nothing…including me.
This weekend I had the sweetest moments with friends, in bible study conversations, and in His presence. I also had ugly words fall from my lips in raw anger and frustration. How can I live this life striving to be Christ like and still fall into things that I should have already grown out of? How can I fail, stumble, and sin while still pursuing Him? Well, because I’m human and still flawed. I am still flawed. but I am still trying.
This morning the guilt of all of my failure and unholiness that “won” this weekend began to come at me, showing me how truly un Christ like I acted. The words that were ugly, the anger (even though justified) was released in a way that was not. The sin that I allowed to have a presence in my life reminding me how far I have come but showing me even more how far I have to go. My mind said repent …repent…REPENT! but my heart already had. Guilt wanted to stay but the heart wanted to worship. Amazing how the remembrance of sin, the unholiness of our humanity hold no candle to the worship of our Father. When we worship the attacks against your mind, your soul, and your spirit have no choice but to stop and come under submission to the holy one.
If I allowed myself to wallow in my weakness I would never continue to run this race that HE has set before me. In my weakness HE makes me strong (because I cling to Him). In my sin, He covers me with grace (because I ask Him) , and in my unholiness I am made whole through His holy spirit (because He loves me). Don’t allow the rollercoasters of life and the whiplashing of your emotional flesh keep you from the worship and redemptive spirit of God. If you have screwed up royally…then repent and worship royally!